The Best

Lebron James gives a graphic demonstration of what brought
down Jose Mesa and the 1997 Cleveland Indians.

With the Cleveland Cavaliers all but assured of having the best record in the East, and ahead of the Lakers for the best record in the NBA, I stopped to think back of the very few times in my lifetime that a Cleveland sports team had been the best team in its particular sport. It's a very short list. In fact, depending on the outcome of the NBA Finals (I would worry about jinxing them, but I'm from Cleveland, I'm sure they're already jinxed), this Cavs team has the potential to be the best Cleveland team I've ever rooted for (excluding the Force, of course - those dudes, ruled! Kaaaaiiiiiiii Haaskaaviiiiiiii!).

Herein, the brief respites in our era of mediocrity and worse (anyone remember the David Letterman telephone hotline skit from the late 80's/early 90's - "Synonyms for Cleveland Sportswriters"?: "Beaten, drubbed, lambasted, throttled, destroyed, vanquished, shellacked, thumped, whipped..."), those brief phoenix comets across our leaden-gray skies:

1a; 1b: 1995/1996 Indians

The one stat nugget from the 1995 team that always leaps to mind: the Indians 6,7,8 hitters of Jim Thome, Paul Sorrento, and Manny Ramirez had better stats than any other AL team's 3,4,5 hitters with the only exception of the Indians' own 3,4,5 of Carlos Baerga, Albert Belle, and Eddie Murray. Now that's a murderer's row, with Kenny Lofton at the top of the order, and Sandy Alomar at the bottom just for absolute overkill. Add to that the stat that the 1995 Indians were one of some small number of teams I'm too lazy to look up to ever lead the league in batting average and ERA, with stellar seasons from seasoned veterans Chuck Nagy, Orel Herschiser, and Dennis "El Presidente" Martinez, Jose Mesa's 46 saves at the back end, and you get an idea what a juggernaut this team was. All the 1996 team did was add Julio Franco's .322 average and Black Jack McDowell's 13 wins into the mix.

The 1995 team racked up 100 wins in a strike-shortened season of only 144 games, made the Jake the go-to destination in Cleveland and revitalized baseball in a town where it had nearly succumbed to apathy countless times since the late '60's. With electric crowds almost astonished that our lovable losers were suddenly lovable winners driving them on, the Indians bludgeoned the Red Sox in the division series (with the iconic "I got your motherfucking cork right here!" moment by Albert Belle, and Tony Peña's 13th inning shot being the highlights). As an encore, the bested the Mariners (who had "shocked the world vanquishing the goliath Yankees), Kenny Lofton scoring from second base on a Randy Johnson wild pitch still the single most exciting Indians play I've ever seen. Unfortunately they then ran into the one of the best 1-2-3 pitching staffs ever assembled in Maddox, Smoltz, and Glavine.

The 1996 team seemed less inspired if better on paper, and managed fewer wins in more games, before collapsing against the Baltimore Orioles in the Division Series, partly a factor of an aging starting pitching staff, and the first powder-residue-coated chinks appearing in the back end of a bullpen that would fail much more dramatically in the World Series the following season.

(Until I did a little research, I had forgotten how much I disliked the 1997 team, even before they suffered the most devastating loss of my lifetime (which is saying a lot). The whole tenor of the team changed going from Lofton to Grissom, Albert Belle to David Justice, and Eddie Murray to Matt Williams. Plus all the stop-gap platoon players like Tony Fernandez, Kevin Seitzer, Bip Roberts, Kevin Mitchell, Charles Nagy clone Chad Ogea (as if cloning Charles Nagy was a great idea), Albie "throwing gasoline on a fire" Lopez, John Smiley, Jeff Branson - a team that definitely proved the maxim that four quarters does not equal one dollar).

Albert Belle shows where he puts the cork (not pictured: Jason Grimsley).

3. 2008/2009 Cleveland Cavaliers

There is definitely the argument to be made that the 1988-89 Cavs were a better team than this year's version - other than BronBron, no starter from this team would crack the starting lineup
of Mark Price, Brad Daugherty, Larry Nance, and Ron Harper. The 88/89 team was as balanced as can be: Price, Daugherty, and Harper all averaging between 18.6 and 18.9 ppg, with Nance right behind at 17.2. Before I answer the question of how King James and the Four Fools (now Three Fool + Mo Williams) is a better team than Lenny Wilkens' Boys, go run yourself a bath, light some candles, put "Ride of the Valkyries" on the stereo, slide into the bath with a mimosa in one hand and a cigar in the other and spend however long you need imagining Lebron James playing on that 88/89 Cavs team, taking give-and-goes from Price and Daugherty, finding Harper with outlet passes, feeding Nance down low, King James putting up 35/12/8s every night, Lebron playing lockdown D on MJ, blocking his shot at the end of game 5, Lebron dunking on Patrick Ewing, knocking Bill Laimbeer flat on his back, outdueling Magic Johnson for the NBA title... okay, take all the time you need, I'll be here when you get back...

Lebron James reverses his stance on windmills as a source of

alternative energy.

Okay, hope you enjoyed that. Now, start with the records - the 88/89 squad finished 57-25, 6 games back of the Pistons, tied with the Lakers for the second best record in the league, and 19-11 in their own division. This Cavs team is on pace to go 67-15, with a chance still at winning 69 games, is a ridiculous 35-1 at home, 11-3 vs. the division, and 25-4 against the Western Conference. The most games they've lost in any month was going 10-4 in January.

The 88/89 Cavs lost to a 47-35 Michael Jordan Bulls team where no other Bull would have cracked the Cavs lineup either (no, not even Scottie Pippen, only in his second year and averaging 14.2 ppg), so it's really not that much of a stretch to say LBJ could have taken them down as well.

If you believed the sports media, the only existing shot of the Cavs 1988/89 season.

Secondly, this season that Lebron James is putting up is one for the ages. I can bombard you with stats, but just try this one on for size: According to ESPN's Bill Simmons Lebron is going to be "the first player since they started keeping track of blocks and steals in 1973 to finish in the top three in scoring AND lead his team in total points, assists, steals, blocks and rebounds AND win more than 60 games." If that isn't an MVP season, I don't know what is.

The question, as several recent articles point out, isn't even how Lebron's season compares with his peers - there is no comparison there. The question is how LBJ compares with names such as Jordan, Bird, Magic, and Robertson.

As fun as it was to watch (and listen to Joe Tait announce) the Price, Daugherty, Nance, Harper team (and as tragic as it is that the worst trade ever - Harper for Danny Ferry - made this the only season we could enjoy this lineup), the 08/09 King James Cavs team is clearly the best Cavs team of all time.

4. 1986 Browns

Kind of a fudge, since they were only the best team in the AFC, not the NFL, as both the Giants and Bears were 14-2 that year, and the Redskins were 12-4 also (goddamn, but the NFC was ridiculous back then). But didn't want to leave Bernie and the boys off. They were such a fun team to watch until you know, that D-word happened, led by some guy whose name rhymes with Horse-Face.

They had one of the league's most balanced and explosive offenses, finally unleashing Kosar and adding him to a running attack of Mack and Byner that had each racked up 1,000 yard seasons in '85. Slaughter and Langhorne were third only to Rice/Clark and Duper/Clayton as wide receiver tandems, with Ozzie Newsome and Brian Brennan added to drive defenses insane. Underneath that mullet of Cobra curls, Kosar possessed the most gifted offensive minds pass through Cleveland since Paul Brown, but was unfortunately saddled his whole career with the most timid (Marty-ball), the most elderly (Bud Carson) and the most zombiefied (Belichick) offensive minds working in pro football. The guy was better drawing plays in the dirt than any clipboard-toter he ever played for.

Blitzing defenses are the disease. He's the cure.

The defense featured the best duo of shut-down corners in the league in Hanford "Top Dawg" Dixon and Frank Minnifield, excellent linebackers in Clay Matthews and Chip Banks, and a solid line of Puzzoli, Carl Hairston, and Sam Clancy. Add in Gerald "Ice Cube" McNeil and this was one very exciting team, with the double-overtime playoff win against the Jets still my favorite Browns memory. They showed it the other day on NFL Films (in what must have been some court ordered restitution for the countless years that the only Cleveland games shown on TV were "Willie Mays' Catch", "The Shot", "The Drive", "The Fumble" and "Cocaine Addled Jose Mesa Blows the Whole Fucking World Series 2 Outs Away From Ending 49 Years of Misery (Catchy Name Still Pending)") and I had forgotten how damn exciting it was, down 10 points with four minutes to go, Kosar rallies the Browns to an incredible victory. I forget what happened the next game. They must have lost, I guess.

Seriously, I have no memory of this.

5. Everybody else

You have to admit, after that group, doesn't it all run into a gray, soupy mass of also-rans, near-contenders, heartbreakers, "if only"s, and other varieties of runt dogs, stray cats, and hobbling platypuses?

Anyway, I really don't have a great closing for this other than to say, go Cavs, I hope you find some way to not break our hearts, but really we're from Cleveland, we kind of expect it, and we'll be quite content nuzzling you to our collective sports bosom if you wind up an almost, just-about but-not-quite, snatching-defeat-from-the-jaws-of-victory band of lovable losers. Right up until Lebron leaves for the Brooklyn Nets in 2010, and the team moves to Las Vegas in 2011. At which point you're dead to us. But for now go Cavs!

yay.